Family part 3

My dear daughters,
With a heart full of affection, I sit down to express a few sentiments and intimations of my wishes, as connected with your conduct. Keep them constantly with you, and let them be read over, at least once a week. May God render them useful to you!

AMUSEMENTS. Plays, balls, concerts, cards, dances, etc., etc.
Serious, consistent Christians, must resist these things, because the dangerous spirit of the world and the flesh is in them all. They are the 'pomps and vanities of this wicked world,' so solemnly renounced by God. To be conformed to these seductive and more than frivolous scenes—is to be conformed to this world, and opposed to the character and precepts of Christ. Those who see no harm in these things—are spiritually blind; and those who will not hear admonition against them—are spiritually deaf. Shun, my dear girls, the pleasures of sin—and seek those pleasures which are at God's right hand for evermore. You cannot love both!

BOOKS.
The characters of people, are speedily discerned by their choice of books. I trust that you will never sacrifice time, affection, or attention to novels. Do not be ashamed of having never read the fashionable books and novels of the day. A Christian has no time, and should have no inclination for any reading which has no real tendency to improve the heart. There are too many valuable books on a variety of worthy subjects, which ought to be read—to allow for time to be dedicated to unwholesome and useless ones!

MUSIC.
Shun all the wretched foolishness and corruption—of light, silly, and amorous songs; on the same principle that you would shun books of the same nature. Sacred music is the true refuge of the Christian. I wish your ears, your hearts, and your tongues were often tuned to such melodies. The play-house, the opera, and the concert-hall—have deluged our society with perversions of the heavenly art of music. Music was designed to lead the soul to heaven—but the depravity of man has greatly corrupted God's merciful design for music.

DRESS.
Aim at great neatness and simplicity. Shun finery and show. Do not be in haste to follow new fashions. Remember, that with regard to dress—that Christians ought to be decidedly plainer, and less showy than the people of the world. I wish it to be said of my daughters, "With what evident and befitting simplicity, are the daughters of Mr. Richmond attired."

BEHAVIOR IN COMPANY.
Be cheerful—but not gigglers.
Be serious—but not dull.
Be communicative—but not overbearing.
Be kind—but not servile.
In every company support your Christian principles, by cautious consistency.

Beware of silly or thoughtless speech—although you may forget what you say—others will not.

Remember! God's eye is in every place, and His ear is in every company!

Beware of levity and familiarity with young men; a sincere, yet modest reserve, is the only safe path. Grace is needful here; ask for it—you know where.

PRAYER.
Strive to preserve a praying mind through the day—not only at the usual and stated periods—but everywhere, and at all times, and in all companies. Prayer is your best preservative against error, weakness and sin.

Always remember that you are in the midst of temptations; and never more so than when most pleased with outward objects and people.

Pray and watch; for though the spirit is willing—yet the flesh is deplorably weak.

RELIGION.
Keep ever in mind—that you have a Christian profession to sustain—both in pious and worldly company. Be firm and consistent in them both. Many eyes and ears are open to observe what you both say and do—and will be, wherever you go. Pray to be preserved from errors, follies, and offenses, which, bring an evil name upon the ways of God.

You may sometimes hear ridicule, prejudice, and censure assail the godly—it ever was, and will ever be so! But, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven!" Do not be ashamed of Christ here—and He will not be ashamed of you hereafter.

Initiate and encourage serious conversation, with those who are truly serious and conversable. Never go into pious company, without endeavoring to improve the souls of others. Whenever you can find a congenial friend, talk of heaven and eternity, and your soul and your Savior. This will be as a shield to your head—and your heart!

ESTIMATE OF THE CHARACTER OF OTHERS.
Look first for grace. Do not disesteem godly people on account of their foibles, or deficiencies in matters of little importance. Gold, even when unpolished, is far more valuable than the brightest brass. Never form unfavorable opinions of religious people hastily, "love hopes all things." Prize those families where you find consistent family prayer; and suspect evil and danger, where it is avowedly unknown and unpracticed. Always remember the astonishing difference between the true followers of Jesus, and the unconverted world—and prize them accordingly, whatever be their rank in society.

Good manners and piety form a happy union; but poverty and piety are quite as acceptable in the eyes of God; and so they ought to be in our eyes. Experience proves that the proportionate number of the truly godly among the poor, is much greater than the corresponding proportion of numbers among the rich.

Your affectionate father,

Without Clouds

by J. C. Ryle

"He shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springs out of the earth by clear shining after rain. Although my house be not so with God; yet He has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things, and sure: for this is all my salvation, and all my desire." (2 Samuel 23:4-5)

The text which heads this page is taken from a chapter which ought to be very interesting to every Christian. It begins with the touching expression, "These are the last words of David."

Whether that means, "these are the last words which David ever spoke by inspiration as a Psalmist," or "these are among the last sayings of David before his death," signifies little. In either point of view, the phrase suggests many thoughts.

It contains the experience of an old servant of God who had many ups and downs in his life. It is the old soldier remembering his campaigns. It is the old traveler looking back on his journeys.

I. Let us first consider David's humbling confession.

He looks forward with a prophetic eye to the future coming of the Messiah, the promised Savior, the seed of Abraham, and the seed of David. He looks forward to the Advent of a glorious kingdom in which there shall be no wickedness, and righteousness shall be the universal character of all the subjects. He looks forward to the final gathering of a perfect family in which there shall be no unsound members, no defects, no sin, no sorrow, no deaths, no tears. And he says, the light of that kingdom shall be "as the light of the morning when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds."

But then he turns to his own family, and sorrowfully says, "My house is not so with God." It is not perfect, it is not free from sin, and it has blots and blemishes of many kinds. It has cost me many tears. It is not so as I could wish, and so as I have vainly tried to make it.

Poor David might well say this! If ever there was a man whose house was full of trials, and whose life was full of sorrows, that man was David. Trials from the envy of his own brethren—trials from the unjust persecution of Saul—trials from his own servants, such as Joab and Ahithophel—trials from a wife, even that Michal who once loved him so much—trials from his children, such as Absalom, Amnon, and Adonijah—trials from his own subjects, who at one time forgot all he had done, and drove him out of Jerusalem by rebellion—trials of all kinds, wave upon wave, were continually breaking on David to the very end of his days. Some of the worst of these trials, no doubt, were the just consequences of his own sins, and the wise chastisement of a loving Father. But we must have hard hearts if we do not feel that David was indeed "a man of sorrows."

But is not this the experience of many of God's noblest saints and dearest children? What careful reader of the Bible can fail to see that Adam, and Noah, and Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and Joseph, and Moses, and Samuel—were all men of many sorrows—and that those sorrows chiefly arose out of their own homes?

The plain truth is, that HOME TRIALS are one of the many means by which God sanctifies and purifies His believing people. By them He keeps us humble. By them He draws us to Himself. By them He sends us to our Bibles. By them He teaches us to pray. By them He shows us our need of Christ. By them He weans us from the world. By them He prepares us for "a city which has foundations," in which there will be no disappointments, no tears, and no sin. It is no special mark of God's favor when Christians have no trials. They are spiritual medicines, which poor fallen human nature absolutely needs. King Solomon's course was one of unbroken peace and prosperity. But it may well be doubted whether this was good for his soul.

Before we leave this part of our subject, let us learn some PRACTICAL LESSONS.

(a) Let us learn that parents cannot give grace to their children, or masters to their servants. We may use all means, but we cannot command success. We may teach, but we cannot convert. We may show those around us, the bread and water of life, but we cannot make them eat and drink it. We may point out the way to eternal life, but we cannot make others walk in it. "It is the Spirit who quickens." Spiritual life is that one thing which the cleverest man of science cannot create or impart. It comes "not of blood, nor of the will of man" (John 1:13). To give life is the grand prerogative of God.

(b) Let us learn not to expect too much from anybody or anything in this fallen world. One great secret of unhappiness is the habit of indulging in exaggerated expectations. From money, from marriage, from business, from houses, from children, from worldly honors, from political success—people are constantly expecting what they never find—and the great majority die disappointed. Happy is he who has learned to say at all times, " My soul, waits only upon God—my expectation is from Him" (Psalm 62:5).

(c) Let us learn not to be surprised or fret when trials come. It is a wise saying of Job, "Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward" (Job 5:7). Some, no doubt, have a larger cup of sorrows to drink than others. But few live long without troubles or cares of some kind. The greater our affections—the deeper are our afflictions and the more we love—the more we have to weep. The only certain thing to be predicted about the babe lying in his cradle is this—if he grows up, he will have many troubles, and at last he will die.

(d) Let us learn, lastly, that God knows far better than we do what is the best time for taking away from us those whom we love. The deaths of some of David's children were painfully remarkable, both as to age, manner, and circumstances. When David's little infant lay sick, David thought he would have liked the child to live, and he fasted and mourned until all was over. Yet, when the last breath was drawn, he said, with strong assurance of seeing the child again, "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me" (2 Samuel 12:23). But when, on the contrary, Absalom died in battle—Absalom the beautiful Absalom—the darling of his heart—but Absalom who died in open sin against God and his father, what did David say then? Hear his hopeless cry, "O Absalom, my son, my son, would God I had died for you!" (2 Samuel 18:33). Alas! None of us know when it is best for ourselves, our children, and our friends to die. We should pray to be able to say, "My times are in Your hands," let it be when You will, where You will, and how You will (Psalm 31:15).

II. Let us consider, secondly, what was the source of David's PRESENT COMFORT in life. He says, "Though my house is not as I could wish, and is the cause of much sorrow, God has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things, and sure." And then he adds, "This is all my salvation, and all my desire."

Now this word "covenant" is a deep and mysterious thing, when applied to anything that God does. We can understand what a covenant is between man and man. It is an agreement between two people, by which they bind themselves to fulfill certain conditions and do certain things. But who can fully understand a covenant made by the Eternal God? It is something far above us and out of sight. It is a phrase by which He is graciously pleased to accommodate Himself to our poor weak faculties, but at best we can only grasp a little of it.

The covenant of God to which David refers as his comfort must mean that everlasting agreement between the Three Persons of the Blessed Trinity which has existed from all eternity for the benefit of all the living members of Christ.

It is a mysterious and ineffable arrangement whereby all things necessary for the salvation of our souls, our present peace, and our final glory, are fully and completely provided, and all this by the joint work of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The redeeming work of God the Son by dying as our Substitute on the cross—the drawing work of God the Father by choosing and drawing us to the Son—and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in awakening, quickening, and renewing our fallen nature—are all contained in this covenant—along with everything that the soul of the believer needs between grace and glory.

Of this covenant, the Second Person of the Trinity is the Mediator (Heb. 12:24). Through Him all the blessings and privileges of the covenant are conveyed to every one of His believing members. And when the Bible speaks of God making a covenant with man, as in the words of David, it means with man in Christ as a member and part of the Son. They are His mystical body, and He is their Head, and through the Head all the blessings of the eternal covenant are conveyed to the body. Christ, in one word, is "the Surety of the covenant," and through Him believers receive its benefits. This is the great covenant which David had in view.

True Christians would do well to think about this covenant, remember it, and roll the burden of their souls upon it far more than they do. There is unspeakable consolation in the thought that the salvation of our souls has been provided for from all eternity—and is not a mere affair of yesterday. Our names have long been in the Lamb's book of life. Our pardon and peace of conscience through Christ's blood—our strength for duty—our comfort in trial—our power to fight Christ's battles—were all arranged for us from endless ages, and long before we were born. Here upon earth we pray, and read, and fight, and struggle, and groan, and weep, and are often sorely hindered in our journey. But we ought to remember that an Almighty eye has long been upon us—and that we have been the subjects of divine provision, though we knew it not.

Above all, Christians should never forget that the everlasting covenant is "ordered in all things and sure." The least things in our daily life are working together for good, though we may not see it at the time. The very hairs of our head are all numbered—and not a sparrow falls to the ground without our Father. There is no luck or chance in anything that happens to us. The least events in our life are parts of an everlasting design in which God has foreseen and arranged everything for the good of our souls.

Let us all try to cultivate the habit of remembering the everlasting covenant. It is a doctrine full of strong consolation—if it is properly used. It was not meant to destroy our responsibility. It is widely different from Mohammedan fatalism. It is specially intended to be a refreshing cordial for practical use in a world full of sorrow and trial. We ought to remember, amid the many sorrows and disappointments of life, that "what we don't know now—we shall know hereafter." There is a meaning and a "needs be" in every "bitter cup" that we have to drink, and a wise cause for every loss and bereavement under which we mourn.

After all, how little we know! We are like children who look at a half-finished building, and have not the least idea what it will look like when it is completed. They see masses of stone, and brick, and rubbish, and timber, and mortar, and scaffolding, and dirt, and all in apparent confusion. But the architect who designed the building sees order in all, and quietly looks forward with joy to the day when the whole building will be finished, and the scaffolding removed and taken away. It is even so with us. We cannot grasp the meaning of many a dark providence in our lives, and are tempted to think that all around us is confusion. But we should try to remember that the great Architect in heaven is always doing wisely and well, and that we are always being "led by the right way to a city of habitation" (Psalm 107:7). The resurrection morning will explain all. It is a quaint but wise saying of an old divine, that "true faith has bright eyes, and can see even in the dark."

It is recorded of Barnard Gilpin, a Reformer who lived in the days of the Marian martyrdoms, and was called the Apostle of the North, that he was famous for never murmuring or complaining, whatever happened to him. In the worst and blackest times he used to be always saying, "It is all in God's everlasting covenant, and must be for good." Towards the close of Queen Mary's reign, he was suddenly summoned to come up from Durham to London, to be tried for heresy, and in all probability, like Ridley and Latimer, to be burned. The good man quietly obeyed the summons, and said to his mourning friends, "It is in the covenant, and must be for good." On his journey from Durham to London, his horse fell, and his leg was broken, and he was laid up at a roadside inn. Once more he was asked, "What do you think of this?" Again he replied, "It is all in the covenant, and must be for good." And so it turned out. Weeks and weeks passed away before his leg was healed, and he was able to resume his journey. But during those weeks the unhappy Queen Mary died, the persecutions were stopped, and the worthy old Reformer returned to his northern home rejoicing. "Did I not tell you," he said to his friends, "that all was working together for good?"

Well would it be for us if we had something of Barnard Gilpin's faith, and could make practical use of the everlasting covenant as he did. Happy is the Christian who can say from his heart these words—

"I know not the way I am going,
But well do I know my Guide;
With a childlike trust I give my hand
To the mighty Friend by my side.
The only thing that I say to Him,
As He takes it, is—'Hold it fast;
Allow me not to lose my way,
And bring me home at last."

III. Let us consider, lastly, what was King David's hope for the FUTURE. That hope, beyond doubt, was the glorious advent of the Messiah at the end of the world, and the setting up of a kingdom of righteousness, at the final "restitution of all things" (Acts 3:21).

Of course king David's views of this kingdom were dim and vague compared to those which are within reach of every intelligent reader of the New Testament. He was not ignorant of the coming of Messiah to suffer, for he speaks of it in the 22nd Psalm. But he saw far behind it the coming of Messiah to reign, and his eager faith overleaped the interval between the two Advents. That his mind was fixed upon the promise, that the "seed of the woman should" one day completely "bruise the serpent's head," and that the curse should be taken off the earth, and the effects of Adam's fall completely removed, I feel no doubt at all. The Church of Christ would have done well if she had walked in David's steps, and given as much attention to the Second Advent as David did.

The figures and comparisons which David uses in speaking of the advent and future kingdom of the Messiah are singularly beautiful, and admirably fitted to exhibit the benefits which it will bring to the Church and the earth. The Second Advent of Christ shall be "as the light of the morning when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain." Those words deserve a thousand thoughts. Who can look around him, and consider the state of the world in which we live, and not be obliged to confess that clouds and darkness are now on every side? "The whole creation groans and travails in pain" (Romans 8:22). Look where we will, we see confusion, quarrels, wars between nations, helplessness of statesmen, discontent and grumbling of the lower classes, excessive luxury among the rich, extreme poverty among the poor, intemperance, impurity, dishonesty, swindling, lying, cheating, covetousness, heathenism, superstition, formality among Christians, decay of vital religion—these are the things which we see continually over the whole globe—in Europe, Asia, Africa, and America. These are the things which defile the face of creation, and prove that the devil is "the prince of this world," and the kingdom of God has not yet come. These are clouds indeed, which often hide the sun from our eyes.

But there is a good time coming, which David saw far distant, when this state of things shall be completely changed. There is a kingdom coming, in which holiness shall be the rule, and sin shall have no place at all.

Who can look around him in his own neighborhood, and fail to see within a mile of his own house that the consequences of sin lie heavily on earth, and that sorrow and trouble abound? Sickness, and pain, and death come to all classes, and spare none, whether rich or poor. The young often die before the old, and the children before the parents. Bodily suffering of the most fearful description, and incurable disease, make the existence of many miserable. Widowhood, and childlessness, and solitariness, tempt many to feel weary of life, though everything which money can obtain is within their reach. Family quarrels, and envies, and jealousies break up the peace of many a household, and are a worm at the root of many a rich man's happiness. Who can deny that all these things are to be seen on every side of us? There are many 'clouds' now.

Will nothing end this state of things? Is creation to go on groaning and travailing forever after this fashion? Thanks be to God, the Second Advent of Christ supplies an answer to these questions. The Lord Jesus Christ has not yet finished His work on behalf of man. He will come again one day (and perhaps very soon) to set up a glorious kingdom, in which the consequences of sin shall have no place at all. It is a kingdom in which there shall be no pain and no disease, in which "the inhabitant shall no more say—I am sick" (Isa. 33:24). It is a kingdom in which there shall be no partings, no moves, no changes, and no good-byes. It is a kingdom in which there shall be no deaths, no funerals, no tears, and no mourning worn. It is a kingdom in which there shall be no quarrels, no losses, no crosses, no disappointments, no wicked children, no bad servants, no faithless friends. When the last trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, there will be a grand gathering together of all God's people, and when we awake up after our Lord's likeness we shall be satisfied (Psalm 17:15). Where is the Christian heart that does not long for this state of things to begin? Well may we take up the last prayer in the Book of Revelation, and often cry, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus" (Rev. 22:20).

(a) And now, have we troubles? Where is the man or woman on earth who can say, "I have none"? Let us take them all to the Lord Jesus Christ. None can comfort like Him. He who died on the cross to purchase forgiveness for our sins, is sitting at the right hand of God with a heart full of love and sympathy. He knows what sorrow is, for He lived thirty-three years in this sinful world, and suffered Himself being tempted, and saw suffering every day. And He has not forgotten it. When He ascended into heaven, to sit at the right hand of the Father, He took a perfect human heart with Him. "He can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Heb. 4:15). He can feel. Almost His last thought upon the cross was for His own mother, and He cares for weeping and bereaved mothers still.

He would have us never forget that our departed friends in Christ are not lost, but only gone before. We shall see them again in the day of gathering together, for "those who sleep in Jesus, will God bring with Him" (1 Thes. 4:14). We shall see them in renewed bodies, and know them again, but better, more beautiful, more happy than we ever saw them on earth. Best of all, we shall see them with the comfortable feeling that we meet to part no more.

(b) Have we troubles? Let us never forget the everlasting covenant to which old David clung to the end of his days. It is still in full force. It is not cancelled. It is the property of every believer in Jesus, whether rich or poor, just as much as it was the property of the son of Jesse. Let us never give way to a fretting, murmuring, complaining spirit. Let us firmly believe at the worst of times, that every step in our lives is ordered by the Lord, with perfect wisdom and perfect love, and that we shall see it all at last. Let us not doubt that He is always doing all things well. He is good in giving—and equally good in taking away.

(c) Finally, have we troubles? Let us never forget that one of the best of remedies and most soothing medicines is to try to do good to others, and to be useful. Let us lay ourselves out to make the sorrow less and the joy greater, in this sin-burdened world. There is always some good to be done within a few yards of our own doors. Let every Christian strive to do it, and to relieve either bodies or minds.

"To comfort and to bless,
To find a balm for woe,
To tend the lone and fatherless,
Is angel's work below."

Selfish feeding on our own troubles, and continual poring over our sorrows, are one secret of the melancholy misery in which many spend their lives. If we trust in Jesus Christ's blood, let us remember His example. He ever "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38). He came not to be ministered unto, but to minister—as well as to give His life a ransom for many. Let us try to be like Him. Let us walk in the steps of the good Samaritan, and give help wherever help is really needed. Even a kind word spoken in season is often a mighty blessing. That Old Testament promise is not yet worn out—"Blessed is the man that provides for the sick and needy—the Lord shall deliver him in the time of trouble." (Psalm 41:1)

Spoiled children!

(J. C. Ryle, "The Duties of Parents")

Train your children to a habit of obedience. No habit,
I suspect, has such an influence over our lives as this.
Parents, determine to make your children obey you
--though it may cost you much trouble--and cost them
many tears! Let there be no questioning, and reasoning,
and disputing, and delaying, and answering back. When
you give them a command, let them see plainly that you
will have it done.

It ought to be the mark of well-trained children, that they
cheerfully do whatever their parents command them. Where,
indeed, is the honor which the fifth commandment enjoins,
if fathers and mothers are not obeyed cheerfully, willingly,
and at once?

Parents, do you wish to see your children happy?
Take care, then, that you train them to obey when
they are spoken to--to do as they are told.

To my eyes, a parent always yielding--and a child
always having its own way--are a most painful sight!
Painful, because I feel sure the consequence to that
child's character in the end will be self-will, pride,
and self-conceit!

Parents, if you love your children, let obedience be a
motto and a watchword continually before their eyes!

Learn to say "No" to your children. Show them that you
are able to refuse whatever you think is not fit for them.
Show them that you are ready to punish disobedience,
and that when you speak of punishment, you are not
only ready to threaten, but also to perform. Do not
merely threaten. Threatened folks, and threatened faults,
live long. Punish seldom, but really and earnestly. Frequent
and slight punishment is a wretched system indeed.

Beware of letting small faults pass unnoticed under the
idea "it is a little one." There are no little things in training
children--all are important. Little weeds need plucking up as
much as any. Leave them alone, and they will soon become
giants!

Parents, if there be any point which deserves your attention,
believe me, it is this one. It is one that will give you trouble,
I know. But if you do not take trouble with your children when
they are young--they will give you trouble when they are old!
Choose which you prefer.

Do not be afraid, above all, that such a plan of training will
make your child unhappy. I warn you against this delusion.
Depend on it, there is no surer road to unhappiness than
always having our own way. To be indulged perpetually is
the way to be made selfish--and selfish people and spoiled
children, believe me, are seldom happy.

A devil at home!

(Charles Spurgeon, sermon #2362)

The way in which a man lives in his home is vital. It
will not do to be a saint abroad--and a devil at home!
There are some of that kind. They are wonderfully sweet
at a prayer meeting, but they are dreadfully sour to their
wives and children. This will never do! Every genuine
believer should say, and mean it, 'I will walk within my
house with a perfect heart.' It is in the home that
we get the truest proof of godliness!

'What sort of a man is he?' said one to George Whitefield;
and Whitefield answered, 'I cannot say, for I never lived
with him.' That is the way to test a man--to live with him.

A most dangerous propensity!

(J. A. James, "The Young Man Leaving Home" 1844)

"Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God." 2 Tim. 3:4

A pleasure-loving youth will become a pleasure-loving man.

A love of pleasure, a taste for amusement, is a most
dangerous propensity!

O, my son, my son!

(Thomas Doolittle, "How we should eye eternity, that
it may have its due influence upon us in all we do")

You parents, why do you not bewail the doleful state
of your unsaved children, who in their sinful courses,
are hastening to eternal pains?

"What, my son! the son of my womb! did I bear you
with so much sorrow--and shall you be eternally damned?
Did I travail with you with so much pain, and brought and
nursed you up with so much labor--and must you be
forever fuel for the flames of hell? Have I brought
forth my child to be a prey to devils, and a companion
with them to all eternity? O, my son, my son! what
shall I do for you, my son, my son!"

Never nurse a child for the devil

(William S. Plumer, "The Ten Commandments")

The heart of your child is corrupt, and all your
teaching and example will be lost without God's blessing.
You cannot change the heart, renew the will, or wash
away the sins of your child. God alone can impart to him
a love of the truth, or give him repentance. You may use
your best endeavors--but all will be in vain without God's
Spirit.

A mother of eleven pious children, who being asked how
she came to be so much blessed, said, "I never took one
of them into my arms to give it nourishment, that I did
not pray that I might never nurse a child for the devil."

The sweetest ingredients in the cup of life

(James, "The Widow Directed to the Widow's God" 1841)

The purest happiness of an earthly nature, is that which
springs up in a comfortable home, where there is a loving
union of hearts between man and wife.

The tender sympathies,
the delicate affections,
the minute attentions,
the watchful solicitudes,
the ceaseless kindnesses of marital love,
--are the sweetest ingredients in the cup of life,
and contribute a thousand times more to earthly
enjoyment, than all the possessions of wealth, and
all the blandishments of rank, station, and fashion.

Has the Gospel Christianized your home?

(From Octavius Winslow's, "The Desire to See Jesus")

It is impossible to love Jesus ardently, to
behold Him spiritually, and to study Him
closely, and not be molded, in some degree,
into His lovely likeness!

Has the Gospel of Jesus made your temper
milder, your heart purer, your life holier?

Has it softened your churlishness, subdued
your moroseness, sweetened your disposition,
rendering you more attractable, admired, and
loved?

Has it converted your penuriousness into liberality,
your pride into humility, your selfishness into
generosity, your love of ease and sloth into
active service for the Lord?

Has the Gospel Christianized your home?

O remember that the Gospel of Jesus has
done but little for us if it has not done this!

The Church in Earnest

by John Angell James, 1848


PARENTAL EARNESTNESS


"And fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

The next step from individual earnestness is to that which is expressed at the head of this chapter. This of course, has reference to the duties of parents. It is not my intention to enter at large on the great subject of religious education in all its details; this I have already done in my work entitled "The Family Monitor, or a Help to Domestic Happiness," but only to insist on the importance and necessity of carrying forward this work with the most intense solicitude and the most untiring devotedness. Perhaps at no period in the church's history has this been understood and felt as it ought to be; but it is to be feared that there have been few periods since the revival of religion, when it has been less felt than it is now. How few are the habitations, even of professors, upon entering which the stranger would be compelled to say, "Surely this is the house of God, this is the gate of heaven!" And yet ought it not to be so? Ought not the dwellings of the righteous to be filled with the elements of piety, the atmosphere of true religion? It may be that family prayer, such as it is, is performed, though coldly and formally and with little seriousness and no unction; but even this in many cases is wholly omitted, and scarcely anything remains to indicate that God has found a dwelling in that house. There may be no actual dissipation, no drunkenness, no card playing—but O, how little of true devotion is there! How few families are there so conducted as to make it a matter of surprise that any of the children of such households should turn out otherwise than pious; how many that lead us greatly to wonder that any of the children should turn out otherwise than ungodly!

Now the church cannot be in earnest if its families are not. The awakening of attention to the claims of religion must begin in the domestic circle. Ministers may be in earnest for the salvation of the young, and their schoolmasters and mistresses may be in earnest for it; but if parents also are not, all the efforts and influence both of the pulpit and the school united will be in vain. Home is usually the mold of character; and the parent is the help or hindrance of the minister of religion. Parents, this chapter then, is for you. Fathers and mothers, read not another line until you have lifted up your hearts to God in prayer, for a blessing on what is now submitted to your attention.

Thoroughly understand and remember what it is we are now considering; it is not merely religious education—but earnestness in this momentous duty. It is not whether you are paying some attention to the salvation of your children—but whether you are paying such attention as this great subject requires—whether you are so devoting yourself to the pious education of your children, as that a visitor on leaving your house shall bear this testimony concerning your parental solicitude, "That father and mother are really concerned for their children's salvation—it is seen in all their conduct." This is the question, whether you are so pursuing this object as that your children themselves shall say, "My father and mother are truly in earnest about my soul!" This is the question, I repeat, whether godliness is the great thing, the one thing, you are pursuing for them? Does it gather up into itself your chief solicitude and control your general plans? What I mean by earnestness in domestic religion will be obvious from the following considerations.

I. It includes a deep thoughtfulness about the subject; a pious thoughtfulness. You will, if you are thus pensive, often say, "I am a parent. I am a Christian parent. I profess to believe my child has a soul, the salvation or the loss of which will depend much upon me. Yes, upon me does it much depend whether my children are to be forever in glory, or in perdition. How inexpressibly solemn! how tremendously important! I have not only bodies to care for, or minds to cultivate—but souls, immortal souls, to bring to Christ! Every other parent, whether beast or bird, by instinct teaches its offspring the highest good of which their nature is capable; and shall I, by neglecting to teach mine religion, neglect the highest good of which their immortal nature is susceptible? Even the sea monsters nurse their young—and shall I be more cruel than they?"

II. There must be a right understanding and a constant recollection of the nature and design of the domestic constitution. Families are the nurseries both of the state and of the church; and if this be true, then the design of the domestic economy must be to form the good citizen and the true Christian. No doubt the present and future welfare of the individual members of each household, their right conduct towards each other, and their own good training for all domestic relations they may in future sustain—are the proximate objects to be sought. But the ultimate end is the formation of a character in which citizenship, loyalty, and piety, shall be beautifully united and harmonized. Well-instructed, well-ordered, and well-governed families, are the springs which from their retirements send forth the tributary streams that make up, by their confluence, the majestic flow of national greatness and prosperity. No state can be prosperous where family order and subordination are generally neglected; and everyone will be prosperous, whatever be its form of political government, where they are maintained. Disorderly families are the sources of wicked characters, pestilent criminals, factious rabble-rousers, turbulent rebels, and tyrannical oppressors, who are their neighbors' torment, and their country's scourge.

But every family has also a sacred character belonging to it, which ought ever to be sustained; I mean it is a preparatory school both for the church militant and the church triumphant, where immortal souls are to be trained up by the influence of a pious education, for the fellowship of saints on earth, and for the felicities of a higher association still, in heaven. The mother, as she presses her babe to her bosom, or sees the little group sporting around the hearth; and the father, as he collects the circle round his chair or his table; as he directs their education, or selects for them their future occupation, should never forget to say to themselves, "These are given to us that we may train them up to be useful members of society, and holy members of the church. God and our country will demand them at our hands. Yes, the destinies of the world will in some measure be affected by them, and the present and all future generations of mankind have claims upon us in reference to the training of our children."

Yes, those children are something more than living domestic play-things; something more than animated household ornaments, who by their elegant accomplishments, and graceful manners, shall adorn the habitation, and be their father's pride, their mother's boast—they are the next inhabitants of our country, and the next race of friends or enemies to the cause of God on earth. The family then, I repeat, is the mold where the members of both the state and the church are cast and formed, and this ought never for a single day to be forgotten.

III. Earnestness implies a deep sense of the tremendous responsibility of the parental relation. Delightful as it may be to hear infants' prattle; to witness the rollicks of childhood's joyous years; to mark the growing development of faculty, and the gradual formation of character during youth's advance to manhood; interesting as it is to see the slow unfolding of the human flower—still a solemn sense of responsibility, ought, with all this, to come over the mind. It is a solemn expression, "I am a parent," for what is it but saying, "I have immortal souls entrusted to my care, whose destiny for eternity will be affected by my conduct."

Fond mother, look at that babe hanging on your bosom, and those other children sporting around your knee; and you, the father of the family, watching them indulge in joyous emotions and playful expressions--pause, ponder, reflect--millions of ages from that moment of domestic ecstacy, every one of those little creatures will be either in heaven or in hell--will be a seraph or a fiend--will be enduring inconceivable torment, or enjoying ineffable felicity—and the fearful alternative in great part will depend upon you! Overwhelming thought! Is it true? Can it be true? It is—and you admit it, at least in profession. Then I say again, how tremendous the responsibility of a parent! This is earnestness, to have this fact written on our very heart; to see it ever standing out in visible characters before our eyes; to carry it with us everywhere, and into everything; to be ever saying to ourselves, "My child is immortal, and his eternal destiny in great measure depends upon me. I am not only the author of his existence—but in some measure of his destiny. I shall be the means perhaps of raising him to heaven, or sinking him to perdition. I am educating him to be an associate with the devil and his demons in everlasting fire, or a companion with the innumerable company of angels in everlasting glory. O God, help me! for who is sufficient for these things?"

IV. Arising out of this, and as a necessary adjunct, earnestness implies a concentration of our chief solicitude upon the salvation of their souls. A Christian parent who is not only nominally concerned for the salvation of his children—but really so, often says to himself, "Yes, I see it; I feel it; I own it; my children are immortal creatures, their souls are entrusted to my care, and will be required at my hands, and their salvation depends much upon me. Then by God's grace, 'this one thing I will do,' I will make their salvation, above all things besides, the object of my desire, of my pursuit, and of my prayer. I will neglect nothing that can conduce to their respectability, comfort, and usefulness in this world; but above and beyond this, I will chiefly desire and do whatever can conduce to the salvation of their souls. Their pious character shall be, in my estimation, the one thing needful, with reference to them. What shall I do, what can I do, that they may be saved?" Ah, this is it! an ever-wakeful concern for their eternal welfare, an inventive solicitude for their immortal destiny; a determined, resolute subordination of everything else to this as the supreme object; such a solicitude as never sleeps or tires; such a solicitude as leads, like all other great concerns, to the use of right means. Not merely a concern—but the concern; not one among many objects—but the one great, commanding, controlling, absorbing object; which if it be not gained, makes a father or a mother mourn over the highest degree of worldly prosperity to which a child can attain, and exclaim, "Yes, he is successful for this world, and of course I am not insensible to the advantage of this—but alas! it is unsanctified prosperity, which I would gladly and gratefully exchange on his behalf, for sanctified adversity."

V. An earnest man will be cautious to avoid MISTAKES—he will say to anyone who can give him information, "Do guard me against error, that I may be kept from mis-spending my time, and mis-directing my labor." Now there are some mistakes in education, against which the Christian parent should be cautioned, and against which he should most assiduously guard. A very common, and a most fatal one, is this; that the conversion of children is to be looked for rather as a sudden thing, which is to be expected as the result of some single event, such as a sermon, or an address, or a letter, or the perusal of a book—than from a systematic and continued course of instruction, discipline, and example.

It is a very frequent thing for Christian parents to say to themselves, and sometimes as an excuse for their own indolence and neglect, "We are taught that regeneration is a sudden and instantaneous change wrought by the Spirit of God; and therefore, though my children exhibit no symptoms of religious concern at present, yet I hope the time will come, when by the blessing of God upon some event, or some means or other, they will be brought suddenly and at once to decision. Perhaps it may be at school, for I have selected pious instructors; or it may be by the preaching of the gospel, for they hear very faithful and energetic ministers; or it may be by some visitation of God in the way of bodily sickness. I live in hope that the good time will come when I shall yet see them converted to God." And, perhaps, all this while there is no systematic course of instruction and of discipline going on at home, so that their religious character is left to whatever contingencies may arise. Fatal delusion! False reasoning! Ruinous mistake!

It is very true that in some cases conversion is sudden—but this is such a perversion of the fact, as involves not only mistakes—but criminality. If it is sudden, how do such parents know but that the very next efforts which they themselves make, may be the happy means of effecting it; and ought they not, upon their own principle, to be ever laboring for, and ever expecting, the blessed result? The fact is, it means nothing less than an indolent handing over the religious education of their children to schoolmasters, to ministers, to friends, to whoever will undertake it, and even to chance—so that they may be rid of the trouble. A parent, who has right views of his relationship and his responsibility, will say, "I may commit the general education of my children to others—but not their pious training. This is too momentous to be entrusted out of my own hands. Others may be ignorant, negligent, or erroneous—I must see, therefore, to this matter myself. I cannot transfer my relation or my responsibility, and I will not transfer my exertions. God will require my children at my hands, and as I cannot reckon with him by proxy, so I will not work by proxy. And I will endeavor, by God's grace, to form their pious character by a system and a course of moral training, and not look for it as the sudden result of passing incidents." This is a correct view of the subject—and the only correct one.

Sudden conversions do often take place in those who have not enjoyed the advantages of a pious education—but rarely in those who have. In the latter case, there is often a gradual change of character and conduct, the effect of good training, which issues at last in regeneration; and in some few rare instances of the conversion to God of the children of judicious, earnest Christians, the change has been so gradual as to be scarcely perceptible. Were all Christian parents to act in the same way, the same results might with good reason be expected, and domestic education would be the ordinary means of conversion for the children of the godly. There is more truth in the proverb, even as regards religion, than many people are disposed to allow, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This does not ensure success in every instance—but it warrants the expectation of it, and should make the lack of success, and not the acquisition of it, matter of surprise.

In all scriptural means of conversion, there is an adaptation to the end to be accomplished, though there is no necessary connection between them; and were right means always used, success would more frequently be the result than it now is. This is especially true of religious education. Let parents give up all dependence upon teachers and ministers, though thankfully availing themselves of their collateral aid, and consider that they are the people to be looked to as the instruments of their children's conversion; and, at the same time, let them abandon the expectation of sudden conversions by contingent circumstances, and look for this blessed result from the grace of God upon a system of instruction and discipline begun early, extending through everything, and carried on with wisdom, perseverance, and prayer, and then they will see much more frequently than they now do, the happy consequences of this holy training of the youthful mind for God.

A second mistake in religious education is putting off the commencement of it too long. Earnestness means seizing the first opportunity that occurs for doing a thing, and indeed a looking out and waiting for the first season of action. "Begin yourself, begin well, and begin soon," are the maxims of common sense, which apply to everything, and especially to religion. Evil is already in the heart at birth, and begins to grow with the child's mental growth, strengthens with his strength, and must be resisted by early endeavors to root it out, and to plant and nourish good. Most parents begin too late. They have let Satan get before-hand with them, and have allowed corruption to grow too long and get too much strength before they attack it. Half the failures in religious education, yes, a far greater proportion may be traced up to this cause. Temperament can be disciplined, conscience may be exercised, subordination may be inculcated, and the child be made to feel the consequences of disobedience—long before he can receive what may be called pious instruction.

A third mistake to be avoided is, making pious instruction a thing by and for itself, and not sustaining it by other things which are related to it, and which have considerable influence upon it. Earnestness presses everything into its service, and avoids whatever would defeat its end. A person intent upon some object which he considers to be of importance, will sustain his pursuit of it, by attending to whatever will aid his endeavors, and will carefully watch against everything which would impede his progress, or defeat his purpose. It were to be wished that Christian parents would act upon this principle, and call in the aid of whatever can promote their one great object. With many, it is to be feared, pious education is nothing more than a mere patch upon the system of training, a bit sewed on, and not an integral part of the whole, the very warp of the texture. For instance, they will teach a little religion occasionally, and perhaps frequently, and somewhat seriously; but all this while will take no pains to inculcate obedience to themselves, to discipline the temper, to cultivate habits of industry, to produce thoughtfulness, kindness, and general good behavior.

When a farmer wishes to produce a good crop, he not only prepares the ground, and sows good seed—but he takes care that the young grain shall enjoy every advantage for growth; and knowing that weeds will stifle it and drain away its nourishment, and keep out the sun's rays, he takes care to clear the ground of them. So it is with the earnest parent, he not only communicates pious instruction, and thus sows the good seed—but he takes care to keep down the weeds, and to do all he can to aid the growth of the plant. Some very good people have erred here; they have taught, entreated, and prayed—and then wondered that their children did not become truly pious—but their excessive indulgence, their injudicious fondness, their utter neglect of all discipline, the relaxation of their authority—until the children have been taught to consider that they, and not their parents, were the most important people in the household—might have explained to them the causes of their failure. If general excellence of disposition and character is not cultivated along with that which is specifically pious, the latter will be of but slow and sickly growth.

The last mistake in religious education which an earnest parent must avoid, to which I shall refer, is the confounding instruction with education; that is mistaking a part for the whole; the means for the end. What, in the estimation of many, is pious education? Nothing more than the communication of so much religious knowledge, a little Scripture, a few hymns, or a catechism, committed to memory. Alas, even this is not done in the families of some professors—and I have heard a concerned and accomplished mistress of a ladies' school express her grief and astonishment at the ignorance of the very elements of Biblical knowledge displayed by many of her pupils who had come from the families of professors of religion. Some of the children of the higher classes in our Sunday schools would put to the blush many of these young ladies of our boarding schools.

And even the more diligent parents are but too apt to stop with the mere communication of knowledge—though it is not education in the more comprehensive sense of the word, which means the formation of character. And from the quarter which I have just mentioned, I have heard most emphatic testimony borne to the anxious and judicious care which that respectable body of professing Christians, the Quakers, themselves take at home to form their children's characters. None have been better trained, she has informed me, than those who have come to her from such families. There is a habit of thoughtfulness, by no means gloomy or unaccompanied by cheerfulness; a sense of propriety, without any such stiffness as is generally supposed to appertain to these young people; a respectful submissiveness, not found in many others; and a soundness of judgment—which afford admirable specimens of good domestic training. The fact is that some of what are called the accomplishments of fashionable and elegant education, are banished from the families of the Quakers, to make way for the cultivation of the mind and heart, and the formation of the character. There may be, and I think there are, omissions in their system, which I would supply; but for the inculcation of habits of reflection, good sense, general propriety of conduct, orderliness, and control of the temper and passions—most parents may take a lesson from the home education of Quaker children.

Now observe the CONDUCT of earnest parents. In addition to the communication of knowledge, they admonish, entreat, warn, and counsel. They direct the reading of their children, and watch carefully what books come into their hands. They analyze their characters, and make themselves intimately acquainted with their peculiarities of disposition and tendencies, that they may know how to adapt their treatment to each. They encourage habits of subjection, modesty, reflection, conscientiousness, frankness; and at the same time, respect for all, especially for themselves. They dwell on the pleasures of true religion, and the misery of sin. They repress faults, and encourage budding excellences. They speak to them of the honor and happiness of godly men, not only in another world—but in this. They endeavor to implant in their hearts the fear of God, the love of Christ, and the desire of holiness. Everything is done to render true religion attractive, and yet to exhibit it as a holy and an solemn reality. They watch the conduct, and look out for matter of commendation and of censure. In short their object and aim are the real, right, and permanent formation of the pious character, the character of the genuine Christian.

Parents, you are always educating your children for good—or for evil. Not only by what you say—but by what you do—not only by what you intend—but by what you are—you yourself are one constant lesson which their eyes are observing, and which their hearts are receiving. Influence, power, impulse, are ever going out from you—take care then how you act!

Let me then here remind you of the immense importance of three things—first, PARENTAL EXAMPLE. What example is so powerful as that of a parent? It is one of the first things which a child observes; it is that which is most constantly before his eyes, and it is that which his very relationship inclines him most attentively to respect, and most assiduously to copy. Every act of parental kindness, every effort to please, every favor conferred—softens a child's heart to receive the impressions which such an example is likely to stamp upon the soul. Vain, worse than useless, is biblical instruction which is not followed up by godly example. Good advice, when not illustrated by good conduct, inspires disgust.

There are multitudes of parents to whom I would deliberately give the counsel never to say one syllable to their children on the subject of religion, unless they enforce what they say by a better example. Silence does infinitely less mischief than the most elaborate instruction which is all counteracted by inconsistent conduct. It is no matter, either of wonder or regret, that some professing Christians discontinue family prayer. How can they act the part of a hypocrite so conspicuously before their households, as to pray in the evening, when every action of the day has been so opposed to every syllable of their prayer. O, what consistent and uniform piety, what approaches to perfection, ought there to be in him who places himself twice every day before his household at the family altar, as their prophet, priest, and intercessor with God. It seems to me as if the holiest and best of us were scarcely holy enough to sustain the parental character, and discharge the parental functions. It would seem as if this were a post for which we could be fitted only by being first raised to the condition of spirits made perfect, and then becoming again incarnate, with celestial glory beaming around our character. What an additional motive is there in this view of our duty, for cultivating with a more intense earnestness the spirit of personal religion!

Would you see the result of parental misconduct—look into the family of David. Eminent as he was for the spirit of devotion, sweet as were the strains which flowed from his inspired heart, and attached as he was to the worship of the sanctuary, yet what foul blots rested upon his character, and what dreadful trials did he endure in his family! What profligate creatures were his sons—and who can tell how much the apostacy of Solomon was to be traced up to the recollection of parental example? Parents, beware, I beseech you, how you, act! O let your children see piety in all its sincerity, power, beauty, and loveliness; and this may win them to Christ.

But there is another thing to be observed, and that is the mischief of EXCESSIVE INDULGENCE. Read the history of Eli, as recorded by the pen of inspiration. The honors of the priesthood and of the magistracy lighted upon him. He was beloved and respected by the nation whose affairs he administered, and to all appearance seemed likely to finish a life of active duty, in the calm repose of an honored old age. But the evening of his life, at one time so calm and so bright, became suddenly overcast, and a storm arose which burst in fury upon his head, and dashed him to the ground by its dreadful thunder bolts. Whence did it arise? Let the words of the historian declare, "I have told him, said the Lord, that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile—and he restrained them not!" Poor old man, who can fail to sympathize with him under the terror of that dreadful sentence, which crushed his dearest hopes and beclouded all his prospects—but the sting, the venom of the sentence, was in the declaration that a criminal unfaithfulness on his part had brought upon his beloved sons both temporal and eternal ruin! All this destruction upon his sons, all this misery upon himself, was the consequence of weak and criminal parental indulgence! Doubtless it began while they were yet children; their every wish and every whim were indulged, their foolish inclinations were gratified; he could never be persuaded that any germs of malignant passions lurked under appearances so playful and so lovely; he smiled at transgressions on which he ought to have frowned; and instead of endeavoring kindly but firmly to eradicate the first indications of pride, anger, ambition, deceit, self-will, and stubbornness—he considered they were but the wild flowers of spring, which would die of themselves as the summer advanced. The child grew in this hot bed of indulgence—into the boy; the boy into the youth; the youth into the young man; until habit had confirmed the vices of the child, and acquired a strength which not only now bid defiance to parental restraint—but laughed it to scorn.

Contemplate the poor old man, sitting by the way-side upon his bench, in silent despair, his heart torn with self-reproach, listening with sad presages for tidings from the field of conflict. At length the messenger arrives, the doleful news is told. The ark of God is taken, and his sons Hophni and Phinehas are slain! His aged heart is broken, and he and his whole house are crushed at once under that one sin—the excessive weakness and wickedness of a false and foolish parental indulgence!

Parents, and especially mothers, look at this picture and tremble—contemplate this sad scene, and learn the necessity of judicious, affectionate, firm, and persevering discipline!

To all this, add earnest, believing, and PERSEVERING PRAYER. Let family devotion be maintained with regularity, variety, affectionate simplicity—and great seriousness. As conducted by some, it is calculated rather to disgust than to delight. It is so hastily, perfunctorily, and carelessly performed, that it seems rather a mockery, than a solemnity; there is neither seriousness nor earnestness in it. On the other hand, how subduing and how melting are the fervent supplications of a godly and consistent father, when his voice, tremulous with emotion, is uttering to the God of heaven the desires of his heart for the children bending around him! Is there, out of heaven, a sight more deeply interesting than a family gathered at morning or evening prayer, where the worship is what it ought to be? When the godly father takes the Bible, and with patriarchal grace reads to his household the words of heavenly truth? And then the hymn of domestic gladness, in which even infants learn to lisp their Maker's praise; not better music is there to the ears of Jehovah in the seraphim's song, than that concord of sweet sounds—and last of all the prayer; oh, that strain of intercession, in which each child seems to hear the throbbing of a father's heart for him! When this is the type of the families of professors; when family religion is conducted after this fashion; when the spectator of what is going on in such households shall be compelled to say, "How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, and your tabernacles, O Israel," when earnestness, after beginning in the soul of the Christian, shall communicate itself to the parent, what a new state of things may we expect in the church of Christ.

In my volume addressed to the ministry, I remarked that the conversion of the children of the pious should be looked for at home, and from the blessing of God on the endeavors of Christian parents. And this is quite true, and a truth which cannot be put forward too prominently, or enforced upon public attention too urgently. I cannot be supposed to under-rate the importance of the pulpit nor the value of preaching; but it is possible so to exalt this order of means as to depress, if not to displace, all others. God never intended by preaching to subvert or set aside the domestic constitution, or to silence the voice of the parental teacher. All systems that obtrude anyone, whether priest, preacher, or school-master, between the parent and his child—so as to merge the obligations of the latter in the functions of the former—are opposed alike to nature and to revelation.

God will hold every parent responsible for the instruction of his children, and it will be no excuse for his neglect of them—that he has handed them over to another. One of the earliest and most certain indications of a revived church, will be the marked revival of domestic piety. Whatever stir be made congregationally or ministerially, will still leave the church but partially awakened, and religion but negligently attended to—until the families of the righteous have become the scenes of godly concern and of spiritual instruction.

The canon of the Old Testament closes with these remarkable words, "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." Under the Christian dispensation, the children were to be brought in with their fathers, and through their instrumentality—and whenever throughout the various churches of Christ we shall be favored to see those who sustain the relation of parents intensely earnest for the salvation of their children, and adopting all proper means for that end—then shall we see the blissful sight of fathers leading their sons, and mothers their daughters, and bringing their children to the church for membership, saying, "Behold, I and the children you have given me." Then will the families of the saints present the beautiful scene, more than once spoken of in the New Testament, of a church in the house.

This state of things will, perhaps, in some measure account for a very painful fact, which both parents and ministers attest and lament—that very few of the sons of our more wealthy members become truly pious. Many of the daughters are brought under the influence of true piety, and come into our fellowship—but comparatively few of the sons. I am aware that as a general fact, far more women are pious than men; but the disproportion is, I think, still greater in the class to which I now allude, than in any other. Many concurring causes will account for this. Young men go out into the world, and are exposed to its temptations, while the daughters remain at home under the sheltering care of their parents. It requires greater moral courage in a young man to profess true religion, than in a female. Young men are more swallowed up in business, and have their minds more drawn away from religion, by this means. They are more exposed to the influence of bad companions, and are more in the way of being injured by scepticism and heresy. They are allured to out-of-door recreations and games, which lead them into ungodly company. And from the fact of a large proportion of pious people being females, young men are carried away with the shallow and flippant notion that religion is a matter pertaining to the weaker gender, rather than to them. These things will account for the fact to which I now allude, which is indeed a very painful one. Our churches and our institutions need the aid of pious young men of this class. We know the soul of a female is as precious in the sight of God, as one of the opposite gender, and we know how valuable are female influence and agency in all religious matters; but women cannot be in such things a substitute for men; and therefore, we do lament that so few of our respectable young men become truly pious.

To what use ought this painful fact to be turned, and to what specific efforts should it give rise? First of all, it should lead Christian parents to pay a more diligent and anxious attention to the pious education of their sons. Daughters must not be neglected—but sons must have special pains taken with them. As in good agriculture, most labor is bestowed on an unproductive soil, to make it yield a crop, so in the pious culture of the heart, the main solicitude should be directed to the boys. Mothers, I beseech you, look to them, and from the very dawn of reason exert your gentle, molding influence over their more sturdy natures. Be concerned for your sons; think of their dangers and difficulties.

Imagine, sometimes, that you see that lovely boy, a future prodigal, lost to himself, to his parents, to the church, and to society, and yourself dying under the sorrows of a heart broken by his misconduct. At other times, look upon the enrapturing picture of his rising up to be a minister of religion, or the deacon of a church, foremost in aiding the Christian institutions of the day, and yielding the profits of a successful business to the cause of God in our dark world. Oh, dedicate that boy to God, with all the fullness of a mother's love, both for him and for his Lord, and pour over him all the influences of a mother's judicious care and culture. Fathers, I say to you also, look well to your sons; be doubly solicitous, and doubly laborious, and doubly prayerful in reference to them. Be the friend, the companion, the counselor of your sons—as well as their father. Be intensely solicitous to see them not only by your side in the counting-house or the warehouse—but in the church of Christ, and in the committees of our Christian societies.

Mothers, much devolves on you. Both among the rational and irrational creatures, the first training of the infant race belongs to her who gives them being, and supports them. And of course, the first and afterwards the strongest yearnings of their affection are to her. It is her privilege and reward for pains, privations, and labors, all her own, to be thus rewarded by the earliest and most earnest aspirations of the heart. Avail yourselves of this bliss, and the influence it gives you, to mold the infant heart and character—for God. Let a mother's vigilance, care, and affection, all be most earnestly consecrated to the blessed work of sowing the seeds of piety in childhood's heart, and thus forming the young immortal.

Scarcely a person of eminence has ever appeared, either in the church or in the state—but has confessed his obligations to a judicious mother. Pious mothers have done more to people heaven than any other class of people, next to the preachers of the gospel; and even the usefulness of ministers must be shared with those who had prepared the minds of their converts to receive impression from their sermons. "Napoleon once asked Madame Campan, what the French nation most needed. Her reply was compressed into one word, "Mothers!" It was a wise, beautiful, and comprehensive answer. Ask me what the Church of God needs, next to earnest ministers, and I answer—intelligent, pious, earnest mothers!

If there are but two real Christians in the world

(John Angell James)

There appears to me to be, at the present moment,
a most criminal neglect, on the part of Christian
parents, of the pious education of their children.

That Christian who would carry on a system of pious
education with success, should enforce it with all the
commanding influence of a holy example. Let your
children see all the "beauties of holiness" reflected
from your character, and the grand outline of godly
virtue filled up with all the delicate touches and
varied coloring of the Christian graces.

Let your children have this conviction in their hearts,
"If there are but two real Christians in the world,
my father is one, and my mother is the other."

It is dreadful--but not uncommon for children to
employ themselves in contrasting the appearance
which their parents make . . .
at the Lord's table--and at their own table;
in the house of God--and at home!

He will become a giant in wickedness!

(Gardiner Spring, "Christian Parenting")

Parents! You must recognize a mournful fact--your child
is depraved! You will fail utterly to educate him if you
don't recognize this sad reality. He possesses a
supremely selfish spirit! 'Self-indulgence' is his king!

Worse--unless he is instructed in moral truth, he will
become a slave of base appetites and unholy passions!

He will become a giant in wickedness!

Piety at home

(Arthur Pink, "First Things First")

"Let them first learn--to show piety
at home." 1 Timothy 5:4

The Christian is first to manifest godliness
in the family circle. We would especially
press this upon the attention of those
who are so anxious to engage in what
they term "service for the Lord."

The "service" which God requires from all
of His people--is not a running about here
and there, asking impertinent questions of
total strangers and prattling to them about
Divine things--but to be in subjection to
Himself, and to walk obediently to His Word.

To talk to other people about Christ, is far
easier than the task which He has assigned
to His people--to deny self, take up our cross,
follow Him, and to show piety at home. For
if there is no piety in our home life--then all
our seeming piety in the Church, and before
the world--is but hypocrisy and self-deceit!

It is only a heathen lodging-place!

(J. R. Miller, "Our New Edens")

Parents are the custodians of their children's lives. If they would meet their responsibility and be able to look God and their children in the face at the judgment, they must make their homes as nearly 'gardens of Eden' as possible.

The way to save your children from the temptations of the streets—is to make your home so bright, so sweet, so beautiful, so happy, so full of love, joy and prayer—that the streets will have no attractiveness for them—no power to win them away. "Do not be overcome by evil—but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

The place of the home-life among the influences which mold and shape character, is supreme in its importance. Our children are given to us in tender infancy—to teach them and train them for holy, worthy, beautiful living.

It is not enough to have an opulent house to live in! It is not enough to have fine foods, and luxurious furniture, and expensive entertainments! Most of the world's worthiest men and women, those who have blessed the world the most—were brought up in plain homes, without any luxury!

It is the tone of the home-life, that is important. We should make it pure, elevating, refining, inspiring. The books we bring in, the papers and magazines, the guests we have at our tables and admit to our firesides, the home conversation, the pictures we hang on our walls—all these are educational. As in everything, LOVE is the great master-secret of home happiness.

The religious influences are also vitally important. In that first 'garden home', the Lord came and went as a familiar friend. Christ must be our guest—if our home is to be a fit place either for our children or for ourselves. If there is no sincere prayer in it, it is not a true home at all—it is only a heathen lodging-place!

How can we make 'new Edens' of our homes? What are some of the secrets of home happiness? I might gather them all into one word and say—CHRIST! If we have Christ as our guest—our home will be happy! He must be welcomed into all our life. He must be in each heart. He must sit at our tables and mingle with us in all our family interaction. Christ can bless our home, only through the lives of those who make the home circle.

Make your home so sweet, so heavenly, with love and prayer and song and holy living—that all through it, there shall be the fragrance of the heart of Christ!

Our household gods?
(Thomas Reade, "Christian Experience")

Whatever draws away the heart
from God, is an idol in his sight.

Our domestic ease, our family comforts,
too often become our household gods,
at whose shrine we sacrifice the claims
of Christ.

Four walls do not make a home

(J. R. Miller, "Home-Making" 1882)

Four walls do not make a home—though it is a palace filled with all the elegances which wealth can buy! The home-life itself is more important than the house and its adornments. By the home-life, is meant the happy art of living together in tender love. We enter some homes, and they are full of sweetness—as fields of summer flowers are full of fragrance. All is order, beauty, gentleness and peace. We enter other homes, where we find jarring, selfishness, harshness and disorder. This difference is not accidental. They are influences at work in each home, which yield just the result we see in each. No home-life can ever be better than the life of those who make it.

Homes are the real schools in which men and women are trained—and fathers and mothers are the real teachers and builders of life!

Sadly, the goal which most parents have for their home—is to have as good and showy a house as they can afford, furnished in as rich a style as their means will warrant, and then to live in it as comfortably as they are able, without too much exertion or self-denial.

But the true idea of a Christian home, is that it is a place for spiritual growth. It is a place for the parents themselves to grow—to grow into beauty of character, to grow in spiritual refinement, in knowledge, in strength, in wisdom, in patience, gentleness, kindliness, and all the Christian graces and virtues. It is a place for children to grow—to grow into physical vigor and health, and to be trained in all that shall make them true and noble men and women.

A true home is set up and all its life ordered—for the definite purpose of training, building up and sending our human lives fashioned into Christlike symmetry, filled with lofty impulses and aspirations, governed by principles of rectitude and honor, and fitted to enter upon the duties and struggles of life with spiritual wisdom and strength.

Every child is totally depraved

(J. A. James, "The Sunday School Teacher's Guide" 1816)

It is important for you, in all your exertions, to bear in mind
the total and universal depravity of the human race. By total
depravity, I do not mean that people are as bad as they can
be; for in general they lie under strong restraints--and most
do not sin with reckless abandonment. I do not mean that
they are all equally wicked; for some are less sinful than others.
I do not mean that they are destitute of everything useful, and
lovely in society; for their social affections are often strong and
praiseworthy. I do not mean that their actions are always
wrong; the contrary is manifestly true.

What I mean by total depravity, is an entire destitution in the
human heart by nature--of all spiritual affection, and holy
propensities. In this view, every child is totally depraved.

To change this state of the mind, and produce a holy bias; to
create a new disposition; to turn all the affections into a new
channel, and cause them to flow towards God and heaven, is
the work of the omnipotent and eternal Spirit!

("Parental Solicitude" being a letter of James Smith to his children)

My dear children,
As your parent, I feel deeply concerned for both your present and everlasting welfare. Great will be my sorrow and distress — to see you associated with the worldly, the careless, or the profane — and to look forward with the fear of being everlastingly separated from you! O what an idea — to be separated forever! the parent enjoying unutterable blessedness — but the child enduring unspeakable, unending woe!

With all the solemn realities of eternity before me I write, and with the deepest solicitude I beg your attention. Allow me first, my dear child, to call your attention to the infinite value of your immortal SOUL. You have a soul which is immortal, destined to live forever. Live it must, live it will, and live forever; but it is capable of enduring most dreadful, fearful, and never-ending torments!

I tell you from the mouth of God —
that you have an immortal soul;
that there is a glorious heaven — and a dreadful hell;
that one or the other must be your eternal abode;
and I beseech you to consider seriously, reflect in time, and flee from the wrath to come!


Your nature is entirely depraved, and always has been! You were conceived in sin, shaped in iniquity, and brought forth under the curse of God! You have grown up hitherto in a sinful state:
every thought of your heart,
every word you have spoken,
every action you have performed,
is more or less sinful.

Your heart is a fountain so corrupt, that nothing pure can possibly proceed from it. God, says of your heart, my child, that it is "deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked!" Every variety of sin and wickedness lurks there! It may be concealed from your view, but yet it is there; and if temptation should present itself, or the Lord takes off his restraints — it would soon make its dreadful appearance.


There never was a sin committed by the vilest malefactor, or a crime perpetrated by the greatest monster of iniquity — but the seed of that sin or crime is to be found in your heart! "For from within, out of the heart," says Jesus, "proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, thefts, covetousness, wickedness; deceit, lust, an evil eye, pride, blasphemy, foolishness! All these evil things come from within and defile a man!" Well then may the Apostle say, "The carnal mind is enmity against God — for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be! So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God!"

Do you think that it is possible, my dear child, for anything good to come from a heart like this? But just such a heart is yours — and the reason you do not know it, is because spiritual darkness and ignorance are spread over your soul; the eyes of your understanding are darkened, and you are hardened through the deceitfulness of sin!

The poor man who catches a poisonous wife!

(Letters of John Newton)

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies!" Proverbs 31:10

Our friend is very busy seeking that precious piece of furniture, called a wife. May the Lord direct and bless his choice. In Captain Cook's voyage to the South Sea, some fish were caught which looked as well as others--but those who ate of them were poisoned! Alas! for the poor man who catches a poisonous wife! There are many such to be met with in the matrimonial seas, who look passing well to the eye. But a marriage to them proves baneful to domestic peace, and hurtful to the life of grace.

I know several people, including myself, who have great reason to be thankful to Him who sent the fish, with the money in its mouth, to Peter's hook. He has secretly instructed and guided us where to angle; and if we have caught prizes, we owe it not to our own skill, much less to our deserts--but to His goodness!

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised!" Proverbs 31:30

For husbands only!

(J. A. James, "A Help to Domestic Happiness" 1828.)

"And you husbands must love your wives with the same
love Christ showed the church. He gave up His life for
her to make her holy." Ephesians 5:25-26

Christ's love is SINCERE.
He did not love in word only, but in deed, and in truth. In
Him there was no deceitfulness; no epithets of endearment
going forth out of untruthful lips; no actions varnished over
with a mere covering of love. We must be like Him, and
endeavor to maintain a principle of true love in the heart,
as well as a manifestation of it in the conduct.

It is a miserable thing to have to act the part of love, without
feeling it. Hypocrisy is base in everything; but next to religion,
is most base in affection. Besides, how difficult is it to act the
part well, to keep on the mask, and to pretend the character
so as to escape detection! Oh, the misery of that woman's
heart, who at length finds out to her cost, that what she had
been accustomed to receive and value as the attentions of a
lover--are but the tricks of a cunning deceiver!

The love of the Redeemer is ARDENT.
Let us, if we would form a correct idea of what should be the
state of our hearts towards the woman of our choice, think of
that affection which glowed in the bosom of a Savior, when He
lived and died for His people. We can possess, it is true, neither
the same kind, nor the same degree of love--but surely when we
are referred to such an instance, if not altogether as a model,
yet as a motive, it does teach us, that no weak affection is due,
or should be offered to the wife of our bosom. We are told by the
Savior Himself, that if He laid down his life for us, it is our duty to
lay down ours for the brethren; how much more for the "friend that
sticks closer than a brother." And if it be our duty to lay down our
life, how much more to employ it while it lasts, in all the offices
of an affection--strong, steady, and inventive!

She who for our sake has forsaken the comfortable home, and
the watchful care, and the warm embrace of her parents--has
a right to expect in our love, that which shall make her "forget
her father's house," and cause her to feel that with respect to
happiness, she is no loser by the exchange. Happy the woman,
and such should every husband strive to make his wife, who can
look back without a sigh upon the moment, when she left forever,
the guardians, the companions, and the scenes of her childhood.

The love of Christ to His church is SUPREME.
He gives to the world His benevolence--but to the church His
love! "The Lord your God in the midst of you," said the prophet,
"is mighty; He will save you, He will rejoice over you with joy;
He will rest in His love--He will rejoice over you with singing."

So must the husband love his wife, above all else--he must
"rest in his love." He should love her not only above all outside
his house--but above all within it. She must take precedence
both in his heart and conduct, not only of all strangers, but of
all relatives, and also of all his children. He ought to love his
children for her sake, rather than her for their sake.

Is this always the case? On the contrary have we not often
seen men, who appear to be far more interested in their
children than in their wives; and who have paid far less
attention to the latter than to grown-up daughters? How
especially unseemly is it, for a man to be seen fonder of
the society of any other woman, than that of his wife, even
where nothing more may be intended than the pleasure of
her company. Nor ought he to forsake her, in his leisure
hours, for any companions of his own sex, however pleasant
might be their demeanor or their conversation.

The love of Christ is UNIFORM.
Like Himself, it is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Marital affection should have the same character; it should
be at all times, and in all places alike; the same at home
as abroad; in other peoples houses as in our own. Has not
many a wife to sigh and exclaim--"Oh! that I were treated
in my own house, with the same tenderness and attention
as I receive in company!" With what almost loathing and
disgust must such a woman turn from endearments, which
under such circumstances she can consider as nothing but
hypocrisy! Home is the chief place for fond and minute
attention; and she who has not to complain of a lack of
it there, will seldom feel the need or the inclination to
complain of a lack of it abroad--except it be those silly
women, who would degrade their husbands, by exacting not
merely what is really kind, but what is actually ridiculous.

The love Jesus is PRACTICAL and LABORIOUS.
He provided everything for the welfare and comfort of
the church, and at a cost and by exertions of which we
can form no idea.

The business of providing for the family belongs chiefly
to the husband. It is yours my brethren to rise up early,
to sit up late, to eat the bread of carefulness, and to
drink if necessary, the waters of affliction, that you may
earn by the sweat of your brow, a comfortable support for
the family circle. This is probably what the apostle meant,
when he enjoined us to give honor to the wife as to the
weaker vessel--the honor of providing for her, which she
in consequence of the weakness of her frame, and the
frequent infirmities which the maternal relation brings
upon her, is not so well able to procure for herself.

In most barbarous countries, and in some half-civilized
ones, the burden of manual labor falls upon the woman,
while her tyrant husband lives in indolence, feeding upon
the industry of the hapless being whom he calls a wife--
but treats as a slave! And are there no such idle tyrants
in our age and country, who so as they can live in indolence,
and gratify their appetites, care not how they oppress their
wives--wretches who do little or nothing for the support of
the family? How utterly lost to every noble and generous
sentiment must that man be, whose heart cannot be moved
by the entreaties or tears of his own wife, and who can hear
in vain her pleadings for his child at her bosom, and his child
by her side, and who by such appeals cannot be induced to
give up his daily visits to the tavern, or his habits of
sauntering idleness, to attend to his neglected business,
and hold off the approaching tide of poverty and ruin.

Such a creature is worse than a brute--he is a monster! And
it seems a pity that there is no law and no prison-ship to
take him away to a land where, if he will not work, so neither
could he eat!

A practical affection to a wife extends to everything! It should
manifest itself in the most delicate attention to her comfort,
and her feelings; in consulting her tastes; in concealing her
failings; in never doing anything to degrade her, but everything
to exalt her before her children and others; in acknowledging her
excellencies, and commending her efforts to please him; in meeting,
and even in anticipating all her reasonable requests; in short, in
doing all that ingenuity can invent for her substantial happiness
and general comfort.

Christ's love to His church is DURABLE and UNCHANGEABLE.
"Having loved His own, He loved them to the end"--without
abatement or alteration. So ought men to love their wives, not
only at the beginning; but to the end of their union; when the
charms of beauty have fled before the withering influence of
disease; when the vigorous and sprightly frame has lost its
elasticity, and the step has become slow and faltering--when
the wrinkles of old age have followed the bloom of youth, and
the whole person seems rather the monument, than the
resemblance of what it once was. Has she not gained in mind,
what she has lost in exterior fascinations? Have not her mental
graces flourished amid the ruins of personal charms? If the 'rose'
and the 'lily' have faded on the cheek--have not the 'fruits of
righteousness' grown in the soul? If those blossoms have
departed, on which the eye of youthful passion gazed with so
much ardor, has it not been to give way to the ripe fruit of
Christian excellence? The woman is not what she once was--
but the wife, the mother, the Christian--are better than they
were!

For an example of marital love in all its power and excellence,
point me not to the bride and bridegroom displaying during the
first month of their union, all the watchfulness and tenderness
of affection--but let me look upon the husband and wife of fifty,
whose love has been tried by the lapse and the changes of a
quarter of a century, and who through this period and by these
vicissitudes, have grown in attachment and esteem; and whose
affection, if not glowing with all the fervid heat of a midsummer's
day, is still like the sunshine of an October noon--warm and
beautiful, as reflected amid autumnal tints!

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies--he who
loves his wife loves himself." A man's children are parts of himself;
his wife is himself--"for the two shall be one flesh." This is his duty
and the measure of it too; which is so plain, that, if he understands
how he treats himself, there needs nothing be added concerning his
demeanor towards her. For what tender care does he take of his body,
and uses it with a delicate tenderness, and cares for it in all
contingencies, and watches to keep it from all evils, and studies to
make for it fair provisions. So let a man love his wife as his own body.

Husbands! It is in your power to do more for your wife's happiness,
or misery, than any other being in the universe! An unkind husband
is a tormentor of the first class. His victim can never elude his grasp,
nor go beyond the reach of his cruelty, until she is kindly released by
the 'king of terrors', who, in this instance, becomes to her an angel of
light, and conducts her to the grave as to a shelter from her oppressor!

For such a woman there is no rest on earth--the destroyer of her
peace has her always in his power, for she is always in his presence,
or in the fear of it. The circumstances of every place, and every day,
furnish him with the occasions of cruel neglect or unkindness, and it
might be fairly questioned, whether there is to be found on earth a
case of greater misery, than a woman whose heart daily withers
under the cold looks, the chilling words, and repulsive actions of
a husband who loves her not. Such a man is a murderer, though in
this world he escapes the murderer's doom; and by a refinement
of cruelty, he employs years in conducting his victim to her end,
by the slow process of a lingering death.

Your children

(Charles Spurgeon)

"Bring him unto Me!" Mark 9:19

Despairingly the poor disappointed father turned away from the disciples, to their Master. His son was in the worst possible condition, and all means had failed—but the miserable child was soon delivered from the evil one, when the parent in faith obeyed the Lord Jesus' word, "Bring him unto Me!"

Your children are a precious gift from God—but much anxiety comes with them. They may be a great joy—or a great bitterness to their parents. They may be filled with the Spirit of God—or possessed with the spirit of evil. In all cases, the Word of God gives us one recipe for the curing of all their ills, "Bring them unto Me!"

O for more agonizing prayer on their behalf, while they are yet babes. Sin is there, let our prayers begin to attack it.

In the days of their youth we shall see sad tokens of that dumb and deaf spirit, which will neither pray aright, nor hear the voice of God in the soul—but Jesus still commands, "Bring them unto Me!"

When they are grown up, they may wallow in sin and foam with enmity against God! Then, when our hearts are breaking—we should remember the great Physician's words, "Bring them unto Me!" Never must we cease to pray for them—until they cease to breathe. No case is hopeless—while Jesus lives.

The Lord sometimes allows His people to be driven into a corner—that they may experimentally know how necessary He is to them. Ungodly children, when they show us our own powerlessness against the depravity of their hearts—drive us to flee to the Strong One for strength—and this is a great blessing to us!

Whatever this day's need may be, let it like a strong current—bear us to the ocean of divine love! Jesus can soon remove our sorrow. He delights to comfort us. Let us hasten to Him—while He waits to meet us!

We commend our young to Your tenderest care

(Henry Law, "Family Prayers")

We commend our young to Your tenderest care. How deep, how abiding are early impressions! While the soil is yet tender—may seeds of godliness be sown.

Before Satan with his legion stealthily creeps in,
before the world with its bewitching vanities allures,
before corrupt examples beckon to destruction's way
—do, O blessed Jesus, enter and win their first affections, and mold their pliant wills. Show them in life's dawn—Your beauty and Your glory, the peaceful charms of godly walk, and seal them by Your Spirit as Your own forever.

May Your Holy Spirit be the great teacher, to instruct them that Christ is the mine containing all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. May they early learn that the fear of the Lord is true wisdom, that to depart from evil is right understanding, and that to be brave for Christ is the noblest heroism.

Holy Father, turn not away from the desire of our hearts, humbly presented in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

For wives only!

(J. A. James, "The Christian Wife" 1828)

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:22

In every society, there must be authority vested somewhere,
and some ultimate authority, some last and highest tribunal
established, from the decision of which there lies no appeal.
In the family constitution this authority rests in the husband
--he is the head, the law-giver, the ruler. In all matters
concerning the 'little world in the house', he is to direct,
not indeed without taking counsel with his wife. But in all
differences of view, he is to decide--unless he chooses to
waive his right; and to his decision the wife should yield,
and yield with grace and cheerfulness.

Usurpation of authority is always hateful, and it is one of
the most offensive exhibitions of it, where the husband is
degraded into a slave of the queen mother.

I admit it is difficult for a sensible woman to submit to
imbecility, but she should have considered this before she
united herself to it. Having committed one error, let her not
fall into a second, but give the strongest proof of her good
sense which circumstances will allow her to offer, by making
that concession to the God-given authority of her husband.
She may reason, she may persuade, she may solicit--but if
ignorance cannot be convinced, nor obstinacy turned, nor
kindness conciliated, she has no resource left but to submit.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:22

Over-indulgence of fond and foolish parents!

(J. A. James, "The duties of PARENTS" 1838)

"I am going to carry out all my threats against Eli and his
family. I have warned him continually that judgment is
coming for his family, because his sons are blaspheming
God and he hasn't disciplined them." 1 Samuel 3:12-13

There is, in some households,
no family government,
no order,
no subordination,
no discipline.
The children are kept under no restraint, but are
allowed to do what they like. Their faults are
intentionally unnoticed and unpunished, and their
corruptions allowed to grow wild and headstrong;
until, in fact, the whole family becomes utterly
lawless, rebellious against parental authority--and
grievous to all around them!

How many have had to curse the over-indulgence of
fond and foolish parents! How many, as they have
ruminated amid the desolations of poverty, or the walls
of a prison, have exclaimed, "O, my cruelly fond parents,
had you exercised that authority with which God entrusted
you, over your children, and had you checked my childish
corruptions, and punished my boyish disobedience; had
you subjected me to the beneficial restraint of wholesome
discipline, I would not have brought you with a broken heart
to your grave, nor myself with a ruined life to the jail!"

Overindulgence of children is awfully common, and continually
making shocking ravages in human character. It is a system of
great cruelty to the children, to the parents themselves, and
to society. This practice proceeds from various causes; in some
instances, from a perverted and intentional sentimentalism;
in others, from absolute indolence, and a regard to present
ease, which leads the silly mother to adopt any means of
coaxing, and yielding, and bribing--to keep the "young rebels"
quiet for the time!

It is not uncommon for parents to treat the first acts of
infantile rebellion, rather as accidents to be smiled at,
than as sins to be disciplined. "O," says the mother, "it
is only play, he will know better soon. He does not mean
any harm. I cannot discipline him."

Lack of parental discipline, from whatever cause it
proceeds, it is in the highest degree injurious to the
character of the children!

Fiends at home?

(edited from Thomas Reade's, "Following the Lord Fully")

No truth can do us any personal good, but as
it influences and purifies our heart and life.

What can we think of those professors, who, while
they appear saints abroad, are fiends at home?

Can it be a matter of surprise, that they should feel
no real satisfaction either in religion or in the world?

They profess so much religion, as to render them
the objects of the world's derision; and yet, they
possess too little of its power to enable them to
taste the sweets of genuine piety.

Hence, they grow morose in their temper, and
uncharitable in their spirit. They are quick sighted
in discovering the mote in a brother's eye, while
utter strangers to the beam in their own.

They are spots and blemishes in the visible church!

The pasture of worms!

(William Bates)

Women, by men's idolizing them--are vainly proud
of their beauty, and more concerned lest their faces
be deformed, than their souls!

What is the body--but a mixture of earth and water?

What is beauty--but a superficial appearance--a
flower blasted by a thousand accidents? How soon
are the colors and charms of the face vanished? The
most beautiful are no less mortal than others--they
must shortly be the prey of death--and the pasture of
worms! Can such a fading toy inspire pride into them?
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman
who fears the Lord will be praised." Proverbs 31:30

The training and education of children.

(J. C. Ryle, "The Gospel of Mark" 1857)

"For from within, out of a person's heart, come . . .
evil thoughts,
sexual immorality,
theft,
murder,
adultery,
greed,
wickedness,
deceit,
eagerness for lustful pleasure,
envy,
slander,
pride, and
foolishness.
All these vile things come from within;
they are what defile you and make you
unacceptable to God." Mark 7:21-23

The heart is the chief source of defilement and
impurity in God's sight. Our original sinfulness and
natural inclination to evil are seldom sufficiently
considered.

The wickedness of people is often attributed to . . .
bad examples,
bad company,
peculiar temptations, or
the snares of the devil.

It seems forgotten that everyone carries
within him a fountain of wickedness.

We need no bad company to teach us, and no devil
to tempt us, in order to run into sin. We have within
us the beginning of every sin under heaven.

We ought to remember this in the training and
education of children. In all our management we
must never forget, that the seeds of all mischief
and wickedness are in their hearts.

It is not enough to keep boys and girls at home,
and shut out every outward temptation. They
carry within them a heart ready for any sin,
and until that heart is changed they are not
'safe', whatever we do.

When children do wrong, it is a common practice to
lay all the blame on bad companions. But it is mere
ignorance, blindness, and foolishness to do so. Bad
companions are a great evil no doubt, and an evil to
be avoided as much as possible. But no bad companion
teaches a boy or girl half as much sin as their own
hearts will suggest to them.

The beginning of all wickedness is within!

If parents were half as diligent in praying for their
children's conversion as they are in keeping them
from bad company, their children would turn out
far better than they do.